It's an important question.

I made this "What If" video with my friend Adam that I like a lot, and I've been posting images from it on Facebook, to encourage people to watch it and to think about the questions.

One of the questions where my meaning is not clear is the one above.  I know I whine about being gay a lot, but that's not what I intend to do here.

What I'm talking about is our tendency to view the sexuality of autistic people as a problem, not as a vital and potentially rewarding part of our lives.  Some autistic people are asexual, and I think that's a valid choice.  That's not what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about kids who aren't getting the sex ed they need because everybody is just hoping they will never develop any interest in sex.  And when it's obvious that they are interested, people think they've done their job if they know enough to masturbate in private. 

That's not to say that there isn't a lot to worry about when it comes to autism and sex.  Our physical need for sex often develops years before we have the relationship skills to make sex with a partner a good idea.  But instead of working with teens to understand that they should be working to have the skills to be able to date when they reach their late twenties or even later, we let them think that they can never develop dating skills.  So they get frustrated and angry, and sometimes even violent.

I think this is a common thing, and I think it is big deal.

And it's not just with people who may never develop the skills to have a relationship.  I have guys with Aspergers who can hold down a job tell me fairly often that they are giving up on the idea of finding a partner.  And a lot of them are sad and angry about it.

We've got to do a better job of sex and relationship ed with kids who have Aspergers.  And other types of autism, too.

I'm reposting the video below to invite you to join me in talking about autistic sexuality, and not being afraid of it anymore.

Click here to watch it. Not appropriate for work or children.

I now think what I say about the shape of sex toys is really stupid.  Sorry for that.